Very real....

Well from dreams i would move on to something thats so real yet so beautiful that even the most beautiful dream loses hands down. Creation. Yesterday i took a flight from Bangalore to Delhi(both in India) and sometime before we were going to land in Delhi i was awaken by the air hostess for something after which i did not get sleep. It was an early morning flight of two and a half hours out of which one had already been hibernated to. At this time i could not go back to sleep so i started staring out of the window as there was nothing else to stare at. The air hostesses were so-so, the guy sitting at the aisle was rocking some Michael Jackson on his I-pod and thrusting his neck to the beat while we ate breakfast, plus i was not in a mood to get back into my book as it is a very deep one and needs me to think crazy. The sun was out....we were flying between the first and second layer of clouds of the atmosphere. I think we had crossed Hyderabad sometime back. Then i spotted something really beautiful. It was a serpentine form of blue going through infinite patches of fields which is so characteristic of our country. Ah! it was the most beautiful river i had seen in my life. There was nothing else around it and it occaisionally visited some towns and villages which it liked. The distributaries branched out from the big mother river and took their own paths. The fact that i was watching it from such a great height at such slow motion added to its splendour. I tried to follow the river till as far as i could but could not follow it too far as it never ended. It was a grand river. It was a grand creation. It was a grand thought. Plus another awesome sight was the horizon. I wish i could see such a horizon everyday of my life. To inspire me to do something new, to discover whats on the other side. Never mind i guess ill have to take one morning flight everyday for that. Anyhow it was one of the most fascinating things i have done one my life-looking out of the window of an aeroplane and i was glad i didnt carry my music else i would not have done so. Thank you god for creating such marvels which show us mortals who we are and bring our heads down to where they should be. Wish i could fly. Like Superman. Hup Hup and AWAY!!!!

I Crave to go visit my dreams again

I've been having some really weird dreams for the past few days. They are very satisfying but on the other hand, very unsettling. I kinda like them because since i started having them i wait for sleep so that i can visit them again. Its really hard to describe these but all i know is that there is a person in these dreams who im very happy with. Though this person is a bit sad but i feel so satisfied when im with that person that its a feeling thats impossible to describe. Now here's the weird part. I know this person in real life. Not to well. Spent some time with (her) when i was younger say, in class 9th i think. But none since then. I had a liking towards her then too. But no news since then i have even forgotten how she looks. Out of the blue now 5 years later she s back....in my dreams! Its very very fishy. But i dont know why i like it. I spoke to her about this yesterday cuz i couldn't keep it. Was expecting her to be a little surprised, pissed, or whatever cuz she's little older than me. She wasn't really. She says she remembers everything about me and hopes the dreams are not nightmares. Sigh. Was nice to catch up with her. She wants to see me too. Anyway lets let this be as it is.

Warped conciousness

Last few days, weeks, months, years have been a blurred state of affairs. Seems like ill just snap out of it in an instant. Amazing things have happened in my life. But sometimes when i get out and look at myself from the outside, it seems like that person in front hardly seems to have noticed. I dont like this too much. But as i say this too, its a blur. Im not on smack, neither on any other abuse. I have cut smoking. Drink beer mostly to feel better. Today as I played on stage, i saw my friends, if i could call them, some i love, some i admire, some i hate; they all sat together in sequence. Looking at them cheer made me ask for forgiveness from the almighty. I have a lot of people in my life who i dont like. Thats the way it is. But when some of those people have that glow in their eyes to see you on stage, you feel like slapping urself on your face. Maybe they fake it, thats my biggest fear, actually i know they fake it for the longest time. Why? Leave that aside. But even for the rest of the short time they loved me, It felt good. I was singing my lines, playing my runs, and these aspects of life flashed like the bulbs which were flashing from the front row, and by the time i reached home, these flashes turned into a train which never stopped. I think its minor deceit and lack of character from some( a lot of) people who i thought has tremendous potential has led to this. At this moment i hope this goes away and i mature to find healthy relationships which i cherish in the present and not in the future when they go away or transform into something else. At this moment i'd like to tell you that i never had a best friend and am currently having a slight problem adjusting myself to the attitude of my roommate who is amongst the first friends i ever had and i know him for almost 17 years. Wish i were like calvin. Oooph! these wishes.