wandering thoughtful wannabe mystic

My heads having lots of room for the last few days for thoughts. Maybe its because i have no work. Maybe its because im not listening to music. Maybe its because im reading a Paulo Coelho book. But im kinda glad that im thinking. Life had become quite a machine sometime ago. I could not beleive that i was penning down my gigs and engagements in a diary. Don't like that lifestyle as much. Dont hate it that much either. Come what may what i really want to do...or 'think' that i really want to do in the end is go and live in the mountains....in peace. But these changes in lifestyle which have made life a constant rush of random sometime pointless thoughts that has got me questioning my self on that dream. It was not too long ago whn i used to come back from college and just sit in peace and quiet and try to observe my thoughts. I used to be so merry in this activity that when it would become dark late evening and mosquitoes would to start making merry that i would get stirred out of this activity. I miss that me. Now i cant sit still for too much time. Is it pressure?Yes partially. No completely. Pressure of letting myself down. Pressure that im overrated and it all might come down to nothing. Pressure of.....well lots of issues...which again...i have sketched myself.